The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.
… I guess her rubber broke too
In school, we learned that squirrels stick their nuts in trees. So, just like my uncle dave…
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
I’m so excited for Christmas Pudding… Pudding these nuts in your mouth
I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.
A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table 25+ kill streak
What time is it when when a nurse??? s
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can’t be tho… he’s allergic to nuts!
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I’M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “Because”, he said, “I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
DEEEZ NUTS
Do you you like Cds. There’s this really cool one called C Deez nuts.
DR Brody: Sir your son has a disease called boofa dad: whats boofa? DR Brody: both of these nuts in your mouth
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
RUS | ENG
